TeresaJ wrote:
Actually the whole restraining order thing seems like it could get complicated and out of hand if not in itself abused, but if we do have it then I think it should not apply to public threads.
Cautiously peeking my head in here to say yes to the above.
It's not like someone ever requested a restraining order against a member and then proceeded to insult their love life and intelligence, and even follow them to another forum after they were banned. (And in case people are wondering, I did report the insult to my intelligence, [since it was easier to prove than the love life stuff], to the moderators and the moderator who responded basically brushed it off and told me I was making a big deal out of nothing.) I admit I don't understand trauma so maybe that's perfectly in line with someone suffering from PTSD and inadvertently traumatized by something someone else posted.
I feel like I've given this community as a forum multiple chances. To me it seems like the old guard (largely Generation Xers but I don't want to put all of them in the same basket) is very set in their ways and highly resistant to doing what is needed to make the forum thrive (not just for myself, but for others). The evidence of this is that we started a whole new forum before, and many seemed to have some desire to not repeat the mistakes of the past, but enough people eventually fell into the old patterns anyway. If people truly want the place to thrive; they need to figure out how to make it work with us Millennial snowflakes. Speaking for myself, I'm tired of being dumped on.
People may not believe this because it may not have been obvious, but I have put a LOT of effort into making things work with this community in the past, and I've basically been shit on for my efforts. At this point, I no longer feel like I need to prove something to this community. I'm at the point where I strongly feel that they have something to prove to me. They need to prove that
they are going to put in the work to not make the mistakes of the past.
I'm enjoy people who, like me (regardless of past conflicts), have a genuine interest in moving forward and making things better than the way before, and seem determined to base their identity on something other than being an asshole (which is not what INTP actually means, nor does it mean unthinkingly adhering to the norms of toxic masculinity). The thing about the forum as a whole,though, is not that I'm adverse to letting go of personal drama; it's that I think there are lots of people that don't have enough interest in changing. They can do that if they want, but it's not something I'm eager to participate in.
I'm posting all this because I feel like at least one person here wants to know why I'm reluctant to participate, and I'm not adverse to giving them an explanation.
Oh, and I created another account using one of the countless emails I created to use for my socks at INTPx after I was banned, and I can't determine which. Feel free to delete or merge those accounts.