Contrived quotes optimized for header placement

[Catoptric]

If Sneakers was a 1980s film it would more likely have been renamed Squeakers, involving Russian bioengineered rats that were weaponized to deliver lethal nerve agents. It turns out the Chinese were involved in chemical manufacturing, and it leads to WW3.


This is only funny if people recognize squeaker as a euphemism for fart.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define. ... 20squeaker

[HighlyIrregular II]

Add two drops of your favorite food coloring to a glass of milk and stir for a more colorful drinking experience.

[HighlyIrregular II]

For a flavorful treat, plate up some of your favorite foods, seasoned to perfection, and enjoy!

[HighlyIrregular II]

They should develop a drug with a bunch of super weird and funny symptoms to promote interest in medicine.

[HighlyIrregular II]

^^^ I meant side effects, but I'm owning it.

If a cookie sounds like a poker chip when it falls, it's not my kind of cookie.

[HighlyIrregular II]

I'm too mature to be looking for skin-deep beauty these days. I want beauty down to the fat layer, which means no skin-and-bones girls for me, which tends to mean bigger breasts, so maturing isn't so bad.

[HighlyIrregular II]

There should be a charity that provides free pretty whores for needy undesirables.

[HighlyIrregular II]

Feedilly fidilly fodilly diddle,
the smorg is gasbord and the weenies are little.

[HighlyIrregular II]

I drink my salad dressing with a straw so the vinegar bypasses my teeth.

[Catoptric]

I drink my salad dressing with a straw so the vinegar bypasses my teeth.

"Blew cheese" dressing?