The hobo thread

[SomeInternetBloke]

Hi, I'm henry the hobo. I poop my britches ewerday. I talk to invisible fuzzy wuzzies sometime too. Yep, I told you I'm a hobo and that's my station in life. I was born dead. But the doctor had to play Jesus and wake me up. I'm weak in the head. These days I'm just jerk off and eat garbage. I'm a hobo. Maaaah.

I'm own die now.

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

I wanna be a hobo when I grow up.

Right now I'm studying the secret hobo language. Only a few of the glyphs ofthe language of the ancient Hobo Empire have currently been deciphered, but it is still immeasurably useful to bone up on what is still known.

[SomeInternetBloke]

Yase. Shall we take a luke.
I detects some value in deez papyrus scroll.
Let's take a mome mawn to eenspect dee doke-u-maaant.
Mhuh. Huhm. Yase. The Hoboglyph grail.

My fadda say, you is cursed!

Come with me if you want to live!
https://preparedcitizenwsg.blogspot.com ... vival.html

A glossary of Hobo jargon (ex.) Angel: someone who gives more than you expected. Does it to me every time.
https://cyberhobo.com/hobo-information/cool-stuff/

[SomeInternetBloke]

I was sifting through my old knick-knacks and who's it's and such. Found an old record label says it has a song on it named "Hobo hustle". I'll have to play for you all some time.

[Yesterday]

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

I literally live in a shelter. And yes, I'm learning humility. God has a sense of humor too.

Talk to God but don't blame 'em. He's really cool.

Folks I've got stories for days and days. And yes, I'll adhere to the story tellers creedo and let them sprinkle fertile soil and bless others monetarily and otherwise. Wisdom is invaluable but should be free. That's what stories are... I'm sure Vonnegut would agree.

[Spartan26]

Didn't cartoons make being a hobo seem cool?! I remember visiting some family that lived near some train tracks and I was all excited. I told one kid who lived there something like, "Wow, if you ever wanted to runaway you could just go out the door and just hop on!" The guy was very serious, "I would never want to runaway." No one said you had a sh#tty childhood, Captain Literal, but everyone who's parked themselves in front of a TV with a bowl of Froot Loops on a Saturday morning thinks you're living in real estate heaven.

I remember in kindergarden for Halloween, some parents dressed their kid up like a hobo. They used coffee grounds for his beard. Not sure what they used to make them stick but it smelled funny and the kid got sick from licking the grounds. But it was pretty cool. Looked straight outta Electric Company.

I was just thinking how kids shows made being a mad scientist look cool, too. I remember telling my mom I wanted to be a mad scientist when I grew up. She said I don't have to be mad. I sad not mad mad but I could invent some really cool stuff! She said I could just be a scientist and do that. "You want to be a scientist, not a mad scientist." No, I want to be mad scientist! Being a scientist just sounded boring. I guess the moral is not to tell your dreams or have hypothetical conversations with sensors. Geeze! Miss the point much? She really should have left me alone and not buzz killed my future. I kinda think I was right. The nice, button downed scientist I know are all on the verge if not unemployed sending out grant funding forms hoping some or lead scientist or school with come along and drop some funding in their tin cup. Meanwhile, the nutsos I know who have careers in scientists own multiple homes and are designing top secret crap for the Defense Dept or cool space stuff for foreign countries. One was supposed to go to some "think tank" in Switzerland for 6 mos and never came back. That was about 15 years ago. Last I heard was a cryptic message about superconductor, Antarctica, old soviet fueling station, and "the penguins won't go near that patch." Instead of timeshare trips to the Caribbean, I'm giving fam giftcards for Five Guys and JCPennys.

[Yesterday]

Living with hobos makes the clock tick slower. I shower with them too. It's like backpacking through Europe and staying at the worst hostels. Oh and you'd better be tough. Gotta be ready to knock some blocks off when the hobos get to hoboin'. Tonight I can't sleep because Twitch and Lint are gargling spit whilst snoring. Tbh it is so awful here I spent a night at a sleeze bucket motel for a crack at some decent sleep. But it helps save me money lol. Like I have a choice. I'm officially diagnosing myself as normal compared to this lot. Also today my bunky, an overgrown elf from NY, came out to me as Lucifer incarnate. He said, " we alls got choices right? duh one guy did duh thing and uh, we're all his childrens. It ain't rockets!" *Cues I'm in heaven by Fred Estaire* I live in a deranged fairytale come true.


**

The women here are promiscuous and disgusting. Their pants droop at the arse insinuating they're smuggling soggy garbage back there. I call it morning lady butt. They also pick their noses with their dainty fingers. And twist their hair about when I come around. It's all entertaining. I'm right where I deserve to be after all these years of graffitiing the walls around here.

[puerile_polyp]

I miss it sometimes. Which is stupid. It's a miserable life. But there's no freedom like having nothing and no hope. Just taking the day as it comes, a gift or a message from God. True beauty lives in the company of suffering.

[Catoptric]

Spend Jeff Bezos' Money
https://3pic.github.io/money