Ask the forum

Worldly and otherworldly topics
User avatar
ashi
Posts: 165
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2021 6:59 pm

Re: Ask the forum

Post by ashi » Sun Mar 28, 2021 1:39 am

Let me turn this around and ask what it is like walking around with paper shard encrusted mankarse all day? Also, bidets/shattafs/washlets/etc. that attach to or are integrated into a toilet rather than being a separate fixture one squats over have been around since the 60s. Join me, my beautiful brothers and sisters, in a future where every butt across these lands is free and clean!

I do have to add that, while Japan has certainly taken and perfected the bidet, they also put a button on toilets to produce fake running water noises so no one has to die of embarrassment over the thought that someone might hear them urinating. In a toilet. Like an animal.

User avatar
Madrigal
Posts: 619
Joined: Fri Nov 22, 2019 8:59 am

Re: Ask the forum

Post by Madrigal » Sun Mar 28, 2021 1:50 am

ashi wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 1:39 am
I do have to add that, while Japan has certainly taken and perfected the bidet, they also put a button on toilets to produce fake running water noises so no one has to die of embarrassment over the thought that someone might hear them urinating. In a toilet. Like an animal.
I've thought about this a lot and, not to knock the guys who brought us Sony and Panasonic, I think I would distinguish the fake electronic water sounds pretty easily.

User avatar
ashi
Posts: 165
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2021 6:59 pm

Re: Ask the forum

Post by ashi » Sun Mar 28, 2021 2:03 am

Madrigal wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 1:50 am
ashi wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 1:39 am
I do have to add that, while Japan has certainly taken and perfected the bidet, they also put a button on toilets to produce fake running water noises so no one has to die of embarrassment over the thought that someone might hear them urinating. In a toilet. Like an animal.
I've thought about this a lot and, not to knock the guys who brought us Sony and Panasonic, I think I would distinguish the fake electronic water sounds pretty easily.
You and everyone else would know they were fake, but the point is not to fool you but to afford you the plausible deniability that the woman beside you is perhaps sitting there pressing the fake water button rather than something altogether more unspeakable and disgusting.

"YOU EMITTED LIQUID FROM YOUR WHAT? AND YOU DO THIS HOW OFTEN? 😱"

User avatar
Utisz
Posts: 676
Joined: Fri Nov 22, 2019 4:35 am

Re: Ask the forum

Post by Utisz » Sun Mar 28, 2021 2:12 am

ashi wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 1:39 am
Let me turn this around and ask what it is like walking around with paper shard encrusted mankarse all day?
It was all part of the human condition for me. Until I went to Japan.

Julius_Van_Der_Beak

Re: Ask the forum

Post by Julius_Van_Der_Beak » Sun Mar 28, 2021 2:44 am

Utisz wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 2:12 am
ashi wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 1:39 am
Let me turn this around and ask what it is like walking around with paper shard encrusted mankarse all day?
It was all part of the human condition for me. Until I went to Japan.
Has nobody in this thread ever been camping/hiking and just used leaves? (Avoid leaves of three.)

User avatar
Utisz
Posts: 676
Joined: Fri Nov 22, 2019 4:35 am

Re: Ask the forum

Post by Utisz » Sun Mar 28, 2021 6:05 am

Julius_Van_Der_Beak wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 2:44 am
Has nobody in this thread ever been camping/hiking and just used leaves? (Avoid leaves of three.)
Nope!

But this one summer when I was around 16, I was working with an electrician on a soon-to-be housing estate, but it didn't have toilets or plumbing because we were still on first fixings, so we just pissed in the bushes. Well occasionally he would randomly take off in his van, which only made sense later.

But then one day I got cramps in my stomach in the afternoon, but was too embarrassed to say anything or ask him to drive me into town, and so I went stiff upper lip and held on and held on until it became clear that there was no more holding on, so found a newspaper (a tabloid), tried to find a quiet spot, and yeah.

On the way home he said something like if I ever needed to he would drive me into town. Thought I was discrete about it but apparently not. I just stared out the window.

In retrospect, good thing he wasn't Japanese.

User avatar
ashi
Posts: 165
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2021 6:59 pm

Re: Ask the forum

Post by ashi » Sun Mar 28, 2021 6:54 am

Utisz wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 6:05 am
In retrospect, good thing he wasn't Japanese.
I swear, if I had a dollar every time I thought this.


Julius_Van_Der_Beak wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 2:44 am
Has nobody in this thread ever been camping/hiking and just used leaves? (Avoid leaves of three.)
I was raised in the woods, and somehow ... no? Maybe I blocked out the memory, having been easily and disastrously embarrassed since birth.

Urine rags are, however, very much a thing. (Hanging exposed to sunlight sanitises them. May...be?)

User avatar
jyng1
Posts: 260
Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2021 1:13 am

Re: Ask the forum

Post by jyng1 » Sun Mar 28, 2021 7:43 am

ashi wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 1:39 am
I do have to add that, while Japan has certainly taken and perfected the bidet, they also put a button on toilets to produce fake running water noises so no one has to die of embarrassment over the thought that someone might hear them urinating. In a toilet. Like an animal.
Why have the Japanese taken toileting to such a hygienic and aesthetic extreme when the rest of Asia couldn't give a fuck? I'm sure I saw stuff moving in a toilet in Hong Kong and you needed rubber boots to visit a restaurant toilet we were at in Thailand.

User avatar
last_caress
Posts: 60
Joined: Sat Feb 27, 2021 8:45 pm

Re: Ask the forum

Post by last_caress » Sun Mar 28, 2021 2:01 pm

Julius_Van_Der_Beak wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 2:44 am
Utisz wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 2:12 am
ashi wrote:
Sun Mar 28, 2021 1:39 am
Let me turn this around and ask what it is like walking around with paper shard encrusted mankarse all day?
It was all part of the human condition for me. Until I went to Japan.
Has nobody in this thread ever been camping/hiking and just used leaves? (Avoid leaves of three.)
I made this mistake when I was cutting lawns for a summer job many years ago. Had to wiz and stepped into some foliage to do so. Some time later it became very clear that the dangly bits had contacted the leaves of three.

User avatar
Senseye
Posts: 270
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2021 10:48 pm
Location: Canada

Re: Ask the forum

Post by Senseye » Sun Mar 28, 2021 6:55 pm

I have used leaves/grass on the odd occasion. For camping, I now consider TP an essential item, but one can still get caught out if on a hike or something. Generally there are lakes/rivers in the area so in a desperate situation there is always a dip in one of them for a better clean up, although this can be a chilly affair depending on the time of year/location.

Post Reply