Worldly and otherworldly topics
Rough story on Reddit. Dude's life gets turned upside down all because he took a piss in a men's toilet.
TIFU – I took a bathroom break during a date
So this happened over 10 years ago but still gets me nauseated when I think about it
I just started college and was on a full scholarship after working hard and completing many interviews and references to get this highly competitive scholarship.
In one of my classes the was a stunningly beautiful woman who came to me asking questions all the time about the course we're on and we also end up being study partners in some group tasks. I was very much attracted to her and she seemed to enjoy my company so one day I asked her out for dinner date and to my delight she accepted.
Being a poor college kid, I did not have much money, but I did not want to go to a horrible chain restaurant, so I booked restaurant in the next town that had decent reviews but hopefully was not overly expensive. The dinner was going well we were having a very animated conversation and the food was very good. The restaurant was almost empty but and other large group people on the other side of the restaurant. But I was a bit nervous on how much the bill will be and did not want to get caught being not able to pay the bill but alas this was the least of my problems to come.
In the restaurant a group of people were on the other side of the restaurant had one uncontrolled child approx. three or four years old running around unsupervised. The waitress was getting really upset with him and the group as he was disturbing other tables and pulling cutlery from other tables and the parents didn't seem to be concerned with his behavior. But he wasn't really disturbing me as I was having a great time with my date and I ignored the antics of the child.
My date and I ordered dessert and I excused myself to go to the bathroom, while in the bathroom I could hear the small child making motorbike noises running around in the bathroom for a few seconds before exiting. I didn't see him as I was facing the urinal, and he had left by the time I turned around to wash my hands. I proceeded back to my table when dessert had just been served. During dessert, my date commented that the other table were the child belongs to seemed to be staring at us in a funny way. My back was to them, but again I was having a great time and did not care if another group was staring at us or not.
After we finished dessert, I was surprised to see the restaurant lit up with the blue and red lights of a police car. A lady from the other table in which I now know is the mother of the child went out and met with the officers and then led them to my table and pointed to me and stared "here is the man that assaulted my son."
I was completely shocked! I told the child's mother that I had absolutely nothing to do with her son and never spoken or touched him. She told in the offices that I exposed myself to him while he was in the bathroom. She explained to the police that her son said to her “I saw that man’s wee”, when I walked past their table from the bathroom. There were two police officers one male one female officer, the male officer led me outside for more questioning female stayed inside talking to the mother.
I explained to the police that I when I went to the bathroom, I heard the kid come into the bathroom for a few seconds, but I didn't see him, and he was gone by the time I washed my hands. I never spoke to him or talked to him or even look at him in the bathroom, the police officer took notes, and the female officer came out and advised I was under arrest and they will take me to the police station for further investigation. The mother out the front of restaurant is yelling at me that I was a pervert and I need to be locked up.
My date made a brief statement to the police. She ended up paying and catching a cab home and I got a free ride to the police station.
At the police station the officer advised that according to the mother, the child uses the word “wee” as a euphemism for penis and the mother have made a formal complaint that I exposed my penis to the child while I was in the bathroom. I gave my own statement advising that I was “weeing” in the bathroom, the mother was not there and yes the child must of seen my back whilst I was urinating as that's what I was doing in the toilet at the time- there was no way he saw my penis in the few seconds when he ran in unsupervised and out. Nevertheless, the police charged me with indecent exposure to a child under 12.
This being a small town I got locked up for the weekend because there was no judge available to grant bail on the weekend. I rang my father explaining the situation and he arranged lawyer to appear with me on Monday. I basically had no sleep for 2 1/2 days in the lockup and I was still wearing my restaurant clothes for my Monday court appearance. My lawyer petitioned the judge for the charges to be dropped as if we locked up everyone who went to a public bathroom in the presence of someone under the age of 12 then we would have to lock up the whole country. The judge agreed and the charges were dropped, and I could go home.
But the damage had been done, my date told her girlfriends what happened as if she was the victim of a horror date and then her friends who then told the whole college that I exposed myself to young children. The next day everyone was staring me in class some people coming up to me asking what happened some people no longer go near me or talk to me as the rumor mill was on fire. My date never spoke to me again.
2 weeks later I had to front the college board and had to defend an honor code violation as my scholarship was now in jeopardy. Though cleared this incident hung like a dark cloud over my time in college being a social outcast and severely curtailed my social and professional life in my early 20’s not to mention having a hefty legal bill being sent to my parents.
Tl;DR– I got arrested for indecent exposure just for urinating in a restaurant bathroom
She buries the lead in the whole story until the very end. She had a lobster sidekick with her through this whole adventure? What was it doing the whole time? What was the lobster's name? Clearly a lobster isn't a good emotional support animal though. A Labrador retriever could have gone for help, or at least helped bring some calm to the experience.