Perfunctory weed experiment
So I went on a 3-week cannabis bender. The intentional kind with lots of no planning and literally losing every lighter I've purchased so far . Got so bent. So charred. So bunned bredrens and sisterens. Did some combination of Sativa strains: Cotton Candy and Cantaloupe, I think. I know for sure I can no longer get high off of THC. Side effects: I stopped doing homework for school; started getting up around 2 pm in the afternoon; didn't go to work all week; over drew my account. "It's all coming back, coming back to me now ..." lyrics to the second-best Celine Dion song (the first-best is a certain Leo Decrapprio film) (That was a shitty homage to Reservoir Dogs and Like a virgin nfm). Got it out my system and I feel better now. Back to catching up on homework and substantive
The post is too short huh?
Yeah, I know you agree.
Random story time detour - The mis-evolution of cool
If I had to make a guess, Utisz's weed dealer moniker would be something like The Shamrock Shaman. His product: fat nugs teeming with sparkling golden trichomes. Of course, the packaging would have the same name and a logo of a leprechaun rockin' witch doctor garb showcasing a tattered satchel of golden nuggets. Genius scheme: so just like how Leprechaun's gold disappears after a few hours, Utisz's weed gets you incredibly stoned but only for a few minutes. It wears off which makes the customer keep smoking until the entire sticky stash of deliciousness disappears. This would of course piss customers off and but not before Utisz had swindled enough idiots for them to hire a hitman. The hitman would be a real hardass. Smooshes his 22 pistol too far down into his crotch on account of his little pecker. Problem is that means he's reluctant to remove the gun or else his crotch becomes deflated... But a real hard-ass; East Londoner type who could punch through concrete POW! So the bastard lunges. Gets a savage beating until he whimpers to Utisz, "Sorry ... could you make the pain stop, fok it mate hurry?" To which Utisz shits out a tiny turd of compassion. He lights up a pre-rolled joint of his finest grumble crumble. Then it's *exhale*, euphoria. All is forgiven. The two become instant bud-buddies. Utisz shares his plot to swindle and ruin lives. The high quickly wears off. Hitman mutters, "Fuck it." His crotch deflates. Trigger. The bullet misses. Could say it grazed Utisz's ego so that's the reason he started to cry. But the truth is his heart began to grow. Viscuous strings of tears and spit puddle onto his lap making him believe he's developed incontinence. So he starts wearing diapers and bumping gangster rap and smoking joints. Utisz realizes a mold infestation on his cannabis is to blame for his delirium. But not before some black British kids export this horse shit to the U.S. where it takes off like gangbusters.
edit: so poser suburban kids. that is, not poor kids with deficient social capital etc who aren't to be blamed for trying to perpetuate silly fads to keep their calm emotions from atrophying.
"My favourite song from one of my favourite albums, Nena asking you to please, please let her be your pirate. So smooth and joyful, I have to listen to it three times if I listen once" - ashi