flirtation

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elfsprin
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flirtation

Post by elfsprin » Thu Nov 25, 2021 8:27 pm

I think I had this same thread on INTPc but I'm doing it again anyway.

Do you understand how to flirt? Can you detect flirtation when it's directed at you? How explicitly do the words 'I am attracted to you and would like to explore that some more' have to be vocalized before you recognize that someone else is interested in you? Any particularly good excerpts from media regarding flirtation that rev your analysis engine?
Last edited by elfsprin on Fri Nov 26, 2021 5:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
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elfsprin
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Re: flirtation

Post by elfsprin » Thu Nov 25, 2021 8:28 pm

This one from Unbearable Lightness of Being gets me going.
► Show Spoiler
https://www.msjkeeler.com/uploads/1/4/0 ... _being.pdf
Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity - Simone Weil

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HighlyIrregular
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Re: flirtation

Post by HighlyIrregular » Thu Nov 25, 2021 8:39 pm

IDK, I have a story though. I was bringing up Italian and Chinese food and there were two oldish ladies in the elevator. One commented on the food and I said something like "I have Chinese food (held up bag), I have Italian food (held up bag)" and the woman took it as a joke flirt and she said "OK, I'll think about it."

Please world, just don't talk to me.
"I'm still learning to love the parts of myself that always seem to be kinda sticky." — BarIII

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elfsprin
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Re: flirtation

Post by elfsprin » Thu Nov 25, 2021 8:52 pm

lol that's great
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elfsprin
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Re: flirtation

Post by elfsprin » Thu Nov 25, 2021 9:07 pm

Oh also I'm shit at flirting and detecting flirtation.

I don't even try to flirt anymore. I'm very direct. Definitely identify with Thereza as depicted in the text excerpt above. I've probably come off as heinously malicious by mistake.

I regularly facepalm when I think back on memories I have of people who were clearly expressing some kind of interest, but weren't painfully explicit, so I didn't get it.
Last edited by elfsprin on Fri Nov 26, 2021 8:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity - Simone Weil

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JohnClay
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Re: flirtation

Post by JohnClay » Fri Nov 26, 2021 10:07 am

You might be interested in this:
https://www.wikihow.com/Category:Flirting

I'm a member of an underground filesharing community about seduction and self-help.... it has a little about flirting. In high school I read a book I found at home called "Body Language" by Allan Pease. It includes pictures of what women do when they're interested. It also taught me what eye contact was all about - I used to stare too much or not enough. BTW a few years ago I got this DVD: (the Art of Kissing)

It talks a little about flirting - and also talks about 30 types of kissing. I like the lip kiss and the upside down kiss. I don't like french kisses at all.

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HighlyIrregular
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Re: flirtation

Post by HighlyIrregular » Fri Nov 26, 2021 1:38 pm

One I wasn't sure about was in a library when a stranger girl with an accent asked me to help her with a sentence in a breakup email. Another girl in a college library that I was visiting through the interlibrary loan program asked me how to do something and I think I explained for two seconds and told her there's a pamphlet on it and she sighed. Also in a library, I helped an older woman (older than me...could easily have been 10+ years younger than I am now) with some technical thing and she asked if she could have my number in case she needs more help. In a supermarket, I heard someone in the produce section saying to her friend "they say you could meet guys in the supermarket but I don't know." They're all good ways to get a guy to make a move but I don't think they're technically flirts.
"I'm still learning to love the parts of myself that always seem to be kinda sticky." — BarIII

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Ferrus
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Re: flirtation

Post by Ferrus » Fri Nov 26, 2021 2:24 pm

elfsprin wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 8:27 pm
Do you understand how to flirt?
No.
Ex falso, quodlibet

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HighlyIrregular
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Re: flirtation

Post by HighlyIrregular » Fri Nov 26, 2021 2:51 pm

Ferrus wrote:
Fri Nov 26, 2021 2:24 pm
elfsprin wrote:
Thu Nov 25, 2021 8:27 pm
Do you understand how to flirt?
No.
What are you trying to tell me?
"I'm still learning to love the parts of myself that always seem to be kinda sticky." — BarIII

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elfsprin
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Re: flirtation

Post by elfsprin » Fri Nov 26, 2021 8:48 pm

JohnClay, if the filesharing community is perchance of the PUA ilk, be careful. I'd advise you to feel free to take the innocuous bits of insight with you, but leave the BS negging and put down parts well behind you. You'll be happier if you can find something real, instead of something based on competitive manipulation.

I myself am not an especial fan of kissing.
HighlyIrregular wrote:
Fri Nov 26, 2021 1:38 pm
One I wasn't sure about was in a library when a stranger girl with an accent asked me to help her with a sentence in a breakup email. Another girl in a college library that I was visiting through the interlibrary loan program asked me how to do something and I think I explained for two seconds and told her there's a pamphlet on it and she sighed. Also in a library, I helped an older woman (older than me...could easily have been 10+ years younger than I am now) with some technical thing and she asked if she could have my number in case she needs more help. In a supermarket, I heard someone in the produce section saying to her friend "they say you could meet guys in the supermarket but I don't know." They're all good ways to get a guy to make a move but I don't think they're technically flirts.
Ha, I'm right there with you both in having similar experiences and reacting similarly.

It's weird. I flatter myself that I'm actually quite good at understanding human psychology, intuiting what's going on behind the scenes, foreseeing outcomes. Somehow, once I enter the realm of flirting all that insight absconds and I'm flailing around like an utter idiot.
Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity - Simone Weil

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