INTP Live

elfsprin wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 26, 2021 8:48 pm

JohnClay, if the filesharing community is perchance of the PUA ilk, be careful. I'd advise you to feel free to take the innocuous bits of insight with you, but leave the BS negging and put down parts well behind you. You'll be happier if you can find something real, instead of something based on competitive manipulation.

Well I never really applied the PUA material and it was only at the age of 29 that I first went for coffee or romantically touched a girl. Then eventually I married her in the year 2012. We are extremely compatible. The site has material for shy guys and direct approaches that don't involve negging, etc.

elfsprin wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 26, 2021 8:48 pm

I myself am not an especial fan of kissing.

I only like very short kisses but find it interesting that some people like to kiss for several minutes or longer.

elfsprin wrote: ↑

Fri Nov 26, 2021 8:48 pm

Once I enter the realm of flirting all that insight absconds and I'm flailing around like an utter idiot.

(Edit)

Better answer.

*Robot voice* Flirting is a disposable modern construct.

I'm leaving Des Moines, on short notice. Maybe we can drive halfway and meetup for a hangout if I decide to attend school out here; at Drake University. (Sincerely giving it thought, dude[tte]) It'd be next year though.

There was a (long) time when my baseline assumption was that everyone was flirting with me. I guess that saved me some anguish about whether I was being flirted with or not, lol.

Intellectually, I guess I understand flirting. Does that count?

It's kinda like dancing for me, or public speaking.

Utisz wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 27, 2021 5:51 am

Intellectually, I guess I understand flirting. Does that count?

It's kinda like dancing for me, or public speaking.

Maybe. Can you execute flirting though?

Should we ask Maddy?

See I’m a pretty good dancer. And I’m a good public speaker when adequately prepared. I tend to do well in those kinds of fuzzy areas. But flirting, no.

I have a terribly embarrassing story about bombing public speaking when I wasn’t prepared, in front of a person I was crushing on quite hard/have a limerence for now. So much extreme embarrassment. I’d put it in the adolescent thread but I was like 17 *wails*

SomeInternetBloke wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 27, 2021 12:24 am

I'm leaving Des Moines, on short notice. Maybe we can drive halfway and meetup for a hangout if I decide to attend school out here; at Drake University. (Sincerely giving it thought, dude[tte]) It'd be next year though.

That would be great

Madrigal wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 27, 2021 12:59 am

There was a (long) time when my baseline assumption was that everyone was flirting with me. I guess that saved me some anguish about whether I was being flirted with or not, lol.

Did/How did that influence your general feelings/ways of thinking about people/behavior online or IRL?

Until well after college I always assumed I wasn't interesting to people in a romantic or sexual kind of way.

elfsprin wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 27, 2021 11:24 pm

Madrigal wrote: ↑

Sat Nov 27, 2021 12:59 am

There was a (long) time when my baseline assumption was that everyone was flirting with me. I guess that saved me some anguish about whether I was being flirted with or not, lol.

Did/How did that influence your general feelings/ways of thinking about people/behavior online or IRL?

Until well after college I always assumed I wasn't interesting to people in a romantic or sexual kind of way.

I think I only lived under this impression because of the acquaintances I made early in university; on one hand, socialists whose particular league was into free love, and then my long-term bf at the time who was a part of some kind of pseudo-gothic poly underworld. Before all that, I didn't normally bother with thinking about men, and when I did, it was just some tragically platonic thing where the other person barely talked to me, lol. So it was liberating when sex became something that was just out there and I felt I could take it or leave it (and usually I would leave it). It was like the awkwardness disappeared in a sense.

Online, I just thought it was normal. I noticed some women felt threatened by unsolicited flirting but I guess my being so geographically far away from everyone might also have influenced my nonchalance towards it. Or maybe not. Argentinean men chase aggressively so maybe that also desensitized me.