Clothes & navigating social stuff

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SomeInternetBloke
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Re: Clothes & navigating social stuff

Post by SomeInternetBloke » Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am

djm wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 2:00 am
" ... Gates, Hawking, Einstein ..."
Lots of questions.

Do you believe in an eternal soul?

Given your socio-economic status/job title of CEO of farmville or whatever you do, are you all weird about time-keeping like Elon Musk or the fictional White Rose from the TV show Mr. Robot?

What's the proudest moment in your career/s?

Do you have herniated fat discs under your eyes?

Have the insufferable fools ever triggered suicidal ideation or its converse, homicidal ideation?

edited: Got any advice serviceable for instructing a very untidy autistic mind to function better? <--- most important question btw. :thumbsup:
"My favourite song from one of my favourite albums, Nena asking you to please, please let her be your pirate. So smooth and joyful, I have to listen to it three times if I listen once" - ashi

djm
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Formerly: djm

Re: Clothes & navigating social stuff

Post by djm » Mon Nov 22, 2021 1:34 am

SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
Do you believe in an eternal soul?
djm wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 2:00 am

Open minded. I used to be an ardent disbeliever, and somewhat disdainful of those the did. As I navigate middle age I find myself more mellow and open to the idea. perhaps death is closer, I certainly lose sleep worrying about not finishing my work before I die.
SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
Given your socio-economic status/job title of CEO of farmville or whatever you do, are you all weird about time-keeping like Elon Musk or the fictional White Rose from the TV show Mr. Robot?
In England we use the less gauche moniker of Managing Director, rather than the ghastly term 'CEO'. i have little regard for time keeping other than the constraints I place upon myself. However I resent sleep, and usually fall asleep at my work. I also start work immediately upon waking, and as I lucid dream usually work in my sleep also. Not one for deadlines or hard and fast appointment slots though, they simply don't work.
SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
What's the proudest moment in your career/s?
Yet to happen. Thus far it was in my early 20s when I was visiting Japan. After a week trying to explain my ideas to a senior exec at Mitsui, I had dinner with the head of Mitsui. Midway through the meal the crusty old exec stood up and in a rather formal manner addressed the head of the company thus 'I have been working at 'x' for 35 years and I learned more in one week from 'x' than in my whole career'. Quite humbling.
SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
Do you have herniated fat discs under your eyes?
No. 'A' my better half, is 15 years my junior and very pretty (also smarter then me). I doubt I'd have attracted her with 'herniated fat deposits'. Notwithstanding I was rather poor when we met.
SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
Have the insufferable fools ever triggered suicidal ideation or its converse, homicidal ideation?
Suicide - not since I started infant school (5 years old). The other - frequently.
SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
Got any advice serviceable for instructing a very untidy autistic mind to function better? <--- most important question btw. :thumbsup:
Lots, though all of us autistics are very different in flavour, I have managed to get to nearly 50 with very little assets, and nowhere near the impact I should have had, not sure my advice is worth much tbh. Maybe I'll start a thread. Will dump some of my dubious wisdom there.

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Spartan26
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Re: Clothes & navigating social stuff

Post by Spartan26 » Mon Dec 06, 2021 2:45 am

In networking situations, I try to vary my look just a tad away from sort of the standardized choice according to occupational choice but not so much to try to stand out to the entire room. I.e. not a lot of flash. For pure social engagements, I don't want to have someone come up and talk to me because I'm wearing a label or really expensive shoes. I am perfectly fine if weeded myself out of convos with those people or any subsequent wasting of my time.

I suppose I could try to do some social experimenting of dressing for success and going for a label look but I don't think attire has hampered me from making connections when in certain rooms.

Yesterday
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Re: Clothes & navigating social stuff

Post by Yesterday » Mon Apr 25, 2022 7:54 am

djm wrote:
Mon Nov 22, 2021 1:34 am
SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
Do you believe in an eternal soul?
djm wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 2:00 am

Open minded. I used to be an ardent disbeliever, and somewhat disdainful of those the did. As I navigate middle age I find myself more mellow and open to the idea. perhaps death is closer, I certainly lose sleep worrying about not finishing my work before I die.
SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
Given your socio-economic status/job title of CEO of farmville or whatever you do, are you all weird about time-keeping like Elon Musk or the fictional White Rose from the TV show Mr. Robot?
In England we use the less gauche moniker of Managing Director, rather than the ghastly term 'CEO'. i have little regard for time keeping other than the constraints I place upon myself. However I resent sleep, and usually fall asleep at my work. I also start work immediately upon waking, and as I lucid dream usually work in my sleep also. Not one for deadlines or hard and fast appointment slots though, they simply don't work.
SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
What's the proudest moment in your career/s?
Yet to happen. Thus far it was in my early 20s when I was visiting Japan. After a week trying to explain my ideas to a senior exec at Mitsui, I had dinner with the head of Mitsui. Midway through the meal the crusty old exec stood up and in a rather formal manner addressed the head of the company thus 'I have been working at 'x' for 35 years and I learned more in one week from 'x' than in my whole career'. Quite humbling.
SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
Do you have herniated fat discs under your eyes?
No. 'A' my better half, is 15 years my junior and very pretty (also smarter then me). I doubt I'd have attracted her with 'herniated fat deposits'. Notwithstanding I was rather poor when we met.
SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
Have the insufferable fools ever triggered suicidal ideation or its converse, homicidal ideation?
Suicide - not since I started infant school (5 years old). The other - frequently.
SomeInternetBloke wrote:
Sat Nov 20, 2021 4:28 am
Got any advice serviceable for instructing a very untidy autistic mind to function better? <--- most important question btw. :thumbsup:
Lots, though all of us autistics are very different in flavour, I have managed to get to nearly 50 with very little assets, and nowhere near the impact I should have had, not sure my advice is worth much tbh. Maybe I'll start a thread. Will dump some of my dubious wisdom there.
I don't believe in an eternal soul. more on this a lil later.
ENTP

"Our truest selves exist within the observational incongruencies among general first impressions and further analyses of the finer details."
- from my Ph.D. thesis in psychobabble

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HighlyIrregular II
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Re: Clothes & navigating social stuff

Post by HighlyIrregular II » Fri Oct 07, 2022 1:35 am

I went to an Asian woman's house to swap some things and I forgot about the shoes off custom. She unexpectedly invited me in and had to tell me about she shoes. It was a little basement apartment and she didn't have the raised or lowered shoe removing section that I read about after I left. I was already past her interior doormat when she told me, so I went another two feet in to sit down, then I reached over to put my shoes on the doormat. I guess I should have stood on the doormat outside to take off my shoes, or at least on the one inside. There was a chance of rain though. I'm not sure what to do when it's raining. I don't think it was a fully sheltered doorway. Anyway, she was so nice even online and offered to give me a bunch of stuff and we hung out for over an hour so she's not repulsed by me. I'm just not sure where to put my shoes when I go back for more stuff.

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elfsprin
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Re: Clothes & navigating social stuff

Post by elfsprin » Fri Oct 07, 2022 5:06 am

HighlyIrregular II wrote:
Fri Oct 07, 2022 1:35 am
I went to an Asian woman's house to swap some things and I forgot about the shoes off custom. She unexpectedly invited me in and had to tell me about she shoes. It was a little basement apartment and she didn't have the raised or lowered shoe removing section that I read about after I left. I was already past her interior doormat when she told me, so I went another two feet in to sit down, then I reached over to put my shoes on the doormat. I guess I should have stood on the doormat outside to take off my shoes, or at least on the one inside. There was a chance of rain though. I'm not sure what to do when it's raining. I don't think it was a fully sheltered doorway. Anyway, she was so nice even online and offered to give me a bunch of stuff and we hung out for over an hour so she's not repulsed by me. I'm just not sure where to put my shoes when I go back for more stuff.
If it were me I would just ask where she'd prefer that I put my shoes.

Nothing wrong with a little sub-servient 'asking for directions' energy IYKWIM ;)
Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity - Simone Weil

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HighlyIrregular II
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Re: Clothes & navigating social stuff

Post by HighlyIrregular II » Tue Nov 01, 2022 8:29 pm

She's been giving me hints, calling me cute etc, then she says "not that you need it, but I could give you a makeover to help you find a girlfriend." And she has money making ideas for us. I say no to all that in various ways. She's an interesting mix of environmentally conscious, generous. and things I wouldn't have expected.

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Spartan26
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Re: Clothes & navigating social stuff

Post by Spartan26 » Wed Nov 02, 2022 4:25 am

HighlyIrregular II wrote:
Tue Nov 01, 2022 8:29 pm
She's been giving me hints, calling me cute etc, then she says "not that you need it, but I could give you a makeover to help you find a girlfriend."
Wow, aren't you curious to know how she sees you? It's so rare that I get clothing as a gift, apart from family. I find it especially interesting to get a shirt that I probably wouldn't have purchased for myself. I don't know if this lady is getting it because she thinks I'd really like it or it's because I don't have any shirts like it or if she thinks it's my style or if she thinks it'd be a makeover type thing or if that's how she pictures me, like my personality, even if I don't really show it.

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HighlyIrregular II
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Re: Clothes & navigating social stuff

Post by HighlyIrregular II » Wed Nov 02, 2022 4:31 pm

Spartan26 wrote:
Wed Nov 02, 2022 4:25 am
Wow, aren't you curious to know how she sees you?
Nah. I told her I'm not looking and I know I need a hair cut and a tan. I cant be buying clothes right now. And I'm around grandpa age so I'm not gonna sweat the dad shoes. It''s non-graphic tees most days. I'm transitioning to long sleeve tees and a dark gray hoodie because it's getting cooler. If I wanted her I'd let her change me a little but it's not happening.

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HighlyIrregular II
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Re: Clothes & navigating social stuff

Post by HighlyIrregular II » Fri Dec 16, 2022 5:32 am

She invited me to a party at her workplace and tried to explain how to dress, which involved describing how some people dressed at past parties there. She summed it up with "don't look homeless." I texted her a photo of how I was dressed and she replied "perfect" so we're on the same page with clothes when I try to dress nicely.
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