Social engineering: how do you infiltrate someone's life and become their friend?

[SomeInternetBloke]

Just like the thread title says. How do you infiltrate someone's life and become their friend?

[HighlyIrregular]

https://www.meetup.com/ and hope someone likes you?

[HighlyIrregular]

Incidental conversation can turn into friendship. Like, you're working with someone and something aside from work comes up that you discuss. If it's a meetup event then you'll have at least one thing in common.

If you push it, like, someone you hardly know tells someone he's going golfing and you interrupt to say "I love golf" you may be invited, or you may just be showing a quirk in your personality that drives people away. I think it's best to increase the number of people you interact with and hope for some good, natural, not pushy conversation.

Personally, I stay home.

[SomeInternetBloke]

Incidental conversation can turn into friendship. Like, you're working with someone and something aside from work comes up that you discuss. If it's a meetup event then you'll have at least one thing in common.

If you push it, like, someone you hardly know tells someone he's going golfing and you interrupt to say "I love golf" you may be invited, or you may just be showing a quirk in your personality that drives people away. I think it's best to increase the number of people you interact with and hope for some good, natural, not pushy conversation.

Personally, I stay home.

Your mind is upgraded when reading certain people. Most of the writers on this site qualify. But some don't. I probably don't make the cut. But I'm an exception. *crooner's sing-songy voice* I see a lot of faces though. Some of them glow ...

You did good mista. I've decided that I don't speak politics because I'm still butthurt over the nuance of pretense and corruption. That being said, I've decided that shit I've never bothered with is material for developing new people connections.

[Julius_Van_Der_Beak]

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Turns out there's nothing sleazy about any of this.

[SomeInternetBloke]

How to Win Friends and Influence People

Turns out there's nothing sleazy about any of this.

Edited.

Hm.

We are all shift through unpredictable intervals of ethical, compassionate, and kind behavior but I'd no idea that heading further in this direction could improve my social connections. Cool. I suppose it's only natural that I'm on research gate now looking up what behavior analysts have to say about Dale Carnegie's book. I only heard about Carnegie's book when reading popular neuroscience in a For Dummies issue. I was drawn to the practicality of his ideas. But there's no science in his book (naturally) to back it up. What if he's wrong? -kinda thing. So I appreciate the tip edit: and plan to develop my own insights on how to modify my emotional valence toward stuff and adopt a set of response contingencies to give my behavior more sophistication or something.

[HighlyIrregular]

Pickup line suggestion: "Hey, how about that rash of tire rim thefts in Turlock?"

[SomeInternetBloke]

I have to concede that my earlier attempt or strategy of assessing personal social needs requires amendment. At the dispensary is a gal who exposes a scrumptious sliver of bare midriff, like whenever I've gone. She's always sipping water too. Her pelvis is smooth and slightly bulging (probably with water) to give her slenderness, shape. Odd. It's as if the only feminine curve is the one she nurses attentively. Her bulging belly of water. She's right though, it's attractive. I don't quite know why though. Yeah, I think it's not the person it's aspects of their best selves that draw me in. I don't want a relationship I want to know things e.g., what a woman's best exposed or hidden traits are (physical or otherwise)and probably have to feign interest to experience them. I suppose the below was a literal interpretation of practical applications for applied behavioral analysis or whatever (see Erik Erikson, Eric Berne, et al.).

Per JVDB's and HighlyIrregular's, posts I feel stimulated to develop a language for sleazy pickup (edit) nerds to discuss their sexual exploits and teach how to get chicks. It would be a symbolic logical language with letters and symbols to describe: Acts and consequences, agencies involved in acts and consequences, emotional valence toward it, parties affected by valence, prevention contingencies, etc.

I like this idea. But since it's all done in irony it'll probably get a one-page treatment where only a few bits can be squeezed onto to explain basic syntax or whatever. Great idea for analysis though. Ok I lifted the idea from this presentation: http://www.behavior.org/resources/333.pdf

[HighlyIrregular]

Years ago Tony Robbins was interviewed for some kind of investigative report on TV. The reporter didn't notice but he was mimicking her body position every time it changed. Someone noticed later on and they mentioned it in the segment after the interview. That's an example of a highly successful guy who supposedly is an expert in...appealing to people or whatever...who didn't see that his ploy was semi-transparent. I guess people tend to have all kinds of things in common with their friends and they even adopt their mannerisms, so using their own mannerisms makes them feel like they're with a friend on some level. I believe that, but that "expert" went too far.

I guess I'd do that type of thing sometimes in subtle ways. I'd adjust my tone according to the tone of the person I'm speaking to, and probably things other than my tone, sometimes. It makes things more comfortable for both of us, kind of.

[SomeInternetBloke]

All very interesting responses. Some historical background. As a kid, I couldn't grasp a lot of body language and humor. I would stay up late in we hours of the morning watching late-night talk shows. It was then I noticed that there's on-screen contrived behavior and off-screen automatic/natural behavior. I've started doing that with the dialogue people give in verbal exchanges. in order to ensure I parse it for the speaker's intended meaning or for some helpful pattern for better bonding with others. I noticed how people say things that they aren't sure about. if you can pick up on this than you can tell how to connect with others. people telegraph everything. it's mother fucking amazing. Since I'm not a pathological scum bag sub-human monster I have feelings. As such I have to take my daily dose of buspirone to dumb down my reactivity and then I can talk to almost anyone. Theory of mind activated suckas! Translation: I'm genuinely happy to embody what I've always felt is the essence of cool. To be very low-key but get people. I get people. They're perpetual shit machines. They like to touch stuff. They like to excrete and insert. They like to sit still and jiggle. They're overgrown amoeba. Detritus is what it is. And thems are fackin slimes!

edit: I wrote a lyric to an 80's rock ballad themed instrumental

Slimes is the worst part of the sewer
If you come across it ... Pew
Bad! Yeah manure
I don't have TIIIIIME for your FACKIN SLIIIIME!
fuck dem cows and goats
fuck dem ardeee choKES
You do slimes for crime
Gotsa do the time
Rock on!